To an Oatcake, and Other Boo-urns Eats!

On James Grieve, Laird of Boghead, Tarbolton
Here lies Boghead amang the dead
In hopes to get salvation;
But if such as he in Heav’n may be,
Then welcome, hail! damnation.

Robbie Burns did not love my ancestors well, and possibly quite rightly so. I hear tell we were a bunch of intensely opinionated shit disturbers. (Go figure.) But nonetheless, I still love Robbie Burns Day and a good ol’ haggis munch complete with neeps and tatties. (There’s got to be a dirty joke in there … Uh, yeah.)

I don’t have to make a haggis this year. My lovely friends Bronwyn and Gareth are providing that, but this is my culinary invention for the day: Innes and Gunn Beer Cheese with Orange Onion Marmalade served on Rosemary Oatcakes. Not quite as indulgent as scotch eggs, but still ridiculously tasty. Hope you like it!

Substitute any good quality Scottish beer if you can’t find Innes and Gunn. Mac’s Strong would be great! If I could get my hands on some Alba Scot’s Pine Ale from Craigmill, I would’ve been all over that. I think the piney flavour would pair beautifully with the rosemary and orange.

Both these spreads get better with age. You can serve them right away but a night or two in the fridge will really do them justice.

And, yeah, I know, where’s the recipe for the oatcakes? I’m just making up a basic traditional Scottish oatcake recipe with a couple teaspoons of minced rosemary and a bit of garlic powder added to them. (Made with butter, lard or bacon grease but never shortening! Eww!) You can also buy pretty decent packaged ones in a pinch.

Suggested soundtrack while cooking: The Vaselines, Boards of Canada, Nazareth, Arab Strap, Belle and Sebastian, Donovan, Eugenius, The Beta Band, Franz Ferdinand, Bis, The Jesus and Mary Chain, Mark Knopfler, Life Without Buildings, The Bay City Rollers, and if you’ve really done your research, throw a little AC/DC in for good measure…

Innes and Gunn Beer Cheese
1 lb good quality aged cheddar, cubed or grated
1 clove garlic, finely minced
1 tsp Worcestershire sauce
½ tsp dried mustard
fresh ground black pepper, to taste
½ cup Innes and Gunn Triple Matured Oak Aged Beer

In a food processor, blend first five ingredients until fairly well combined.
Add beer and blend until smooth. Serve in a bowl with a smearing implement of your choice. I think a quaigh and sgian dubh might be overkill, but hey, if you’re feeling racy...


Orange Onion Marmalade
2 onions, halved and sliced
1 Tbsp canola oil, or other unflavored oil
2 – 3 Tbsp Innes and Gunn Triple Matured Oak Aged Beer
½ to 1 tsp salt
1 tsp fresh rosemary, finely minced
½ tsp Worcestershire sauce
3 Tbsp orange marmalade
1 clove garlic, finely minced
1 tsp balsamic vinegar
fresh ground pepper

In a medium sized pot, heat oil over medium heat. Add onions, rosemary and a bit of the salt. When onions begin to brown slightly or stick to the bottom of the pot, stir in the beer and then turn to medium low. Continue to stir onions occasionally until they become soft and golden brown. Add a little water and/or beer whenever they begin to stick to the bottom of the pot. (If you have any left at this point. Oops. Guilty.)

As they begin to soften taste them to see if they need more salt. They probably will. You want the onion mixture to be fairly well salted to stand up to the sweetness in the marmalade you’ll be adding to them, but don’t worry, if you don’t get it quite right you can fiddle with it at the end.

Once the onions are golden, stir in the Worchestershire, marmalade, garlic and balsamic vinegar and stir until combined. (Why am I adding the garlic now, you ask? There’s raw garlic in that beer cheese and I want the garlic flavour in my marmalade to stand up and balance with it. Cooking it with the onions would have made it shy.) Let the marmalade simmer for a couple of minutes and taste to see how that salt balance is. You might want to check your vinegar balance too. (All balsamic vinegars are not created equal.) If it’s a hint too bitter or vinegary for you liking add a pinch of sugar and simmer for a little longer; if it’s lacking that nice punch add a hint more vinegar.

Remove from heat and season with fresh ground pepper. Let cool before serving. (If you store this in the fridge, let it come to room temperature before serving. It will taste way better with the cheese.)